This Loneliness
by Merrom Noire
Summary: Everyone has their scars.


A short look into their characters. Just a bit of angst. I have no idea why I wrote this either.

* * *

Steve had scars just like anyone else - maybe even more; he used to get into a lot of fights standing up for what he believed in. But the serum has erased all of that.

Sometimes Steve doesn't recognize himself anymore: he looks into the mirror, but it is Captain America who stares back out. Steve Rogers died in the twentieth century; only Captain America has survived.

Steve Rogers had a scar on his elbow from where he'd fractured it in a tussle. On his kneecap too, where he'd gotten a nasty abrasion from falling down on it so often. Many, many more; too many to bother listing.

Captain America has none of that. Captain America has no scars: he is perfect.

But Steve will always remember his scars. Just as he will always remember the names of those who had once fought with him.

* * *

Tony doesn't have a lot of scars; his armor makes sure of that. It protects him. But he cannot ignore the biggest one of all.

Sometimes he finds himself idly tracing the perfect circle of his arc reactor: the scar that keeps him alive, the blessing of a curse. It always reminds him of its presence: glowing softly, through his shirt, when he can't sleep at night. It's always there.

It's a part of him now, as much as his arms and legs. Possibly even more - it keeps him alive, as much as his heart and mind. It's a reminder of who he is, and what he's done, and what he's lost.

But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Because it is also a monument to those who had to sacrifice themselves to get him where he is today.

* * *

It takes a lot to scar an Asgardian, so generally they don't have many scars; Thor is no exception. But he has his scars: familial betrayal, deeply traumatizing as it is, has made sure that he cannot bear to think of Loki any longer, because of all the memories that accompany any thoughts of his little brother.

Fond memories of protecting him from those who picked on him for his smaller size; giggling together as they set up the latest prank he'd come up with; their mother coming to tuck them in at night - they all soon morphed into Thor desperately pleading with Loki, begging him to come home; those ice-blue eyes and stone-cold expression that were no longer the brother he knew and loved -

"_I remember you throwing me into the abyss!_"

Thor does not think of Loki any more. He cannot - it is too painful.

* * *

_You really think I'm pretty?_

Beyond the pretty marble-statue face, beyond the black leather and milky skin. Beneath her cool, Russian-cold exterior and her calculating stares. Behind every back-flip, somersault and cartwheel, every punch, every kick. Scars.

Natasha doesn't understand why people call her pretty. Broken as she is, she cannot see her own beauty sometimes, beneath all her scars.

Stray bullets. Close calls with knives. Remnants of torture -

_The screams of all the people she's killed, the exact number but a red blur -_

How can she be pretty, with all these scars?

* * *

Being an assassin is not without its dangers. Clint shares many of his scars with Natasha, from all the missions they've gone on together. Similar twisted, ropy masses upon his skin: memories of past pain.

But Clint has one scar that Natasha doesn't.

He still has nightmares about it: of Loki in his mind, exploring every nook, every crevice. All his secrets, exposed. Everything about him laid bare, before the very man who was their enemy.

_Tell me more about SHIELD … Tell me more about Natasha … _

Clint doesn't remember much of it, but one phrase comes back to haunt him. One he knows he has uttered over and over again.

_"Yes, sir."_

* * *

The warmth of human touch; the spark of kindness and compassion; the joy of love. Bruce has forgotten all of that. All he knows now is rage: rage enough to keep the other guy at bay, but not enough to bring him out.

The other guy is Bruce's most obvious scar. A reminder of how he tried to recreate the serum with gamma radiation, and his miserable failure. The most shameful, painful one.

Or so he thinks.

In truth, what hurts him the most isn't the side of him that has been dubbed the "Hulk" - he is, after all, a part of Bruce himself, fuelled by that most basic, primal instinct of human nature: anger.

It's the loneliness and isolation that have accompanied him.


End file.
